The Legacy Project: Pam Hoyt
When I asked my mom how she’d like to be remembered, she told me, “As a great wife, mom, friend and someone who loves to be adventurous! And as the person who started YOLO!”
At press time, The Legacy Project could not independently verify that Pam Hoyt was indeed the driving force behind YOLO, but the publication does credit her with the term’s widespread use amongst moms across the country. She has been rumored to have been using the term since at least the 1980s as a student at UC Santa Barbara.
All joking aside, of all the reasons to love my mom—and believe me, there are plenty—she’s instilled in me two core principles that guide much of what I do, and for that, I am forever grateful.
First, of course, the “you only live once” refrain that was a staple of my childhood. My mom lives this idea each day, which for me, has proven contagious. Her adventurous spirit taught me to never shy away from a challenge or an unknown. Opportunity is fleeting and, thanks to my mom, I’d rather have a regrettable experience than abstain from something altogether and risk missing out on an incredible memory.
This insatiable desire for adventure has kept my mom young because, like a child, she is ever curious. One of the first lessons we are taught as children is to learn by doing. A child often ignores more ‘pragmatic’ advice from an elder in favor of trying something on his own accord—a tangible, phenomenological approach. In that way, even without trying, my mom endears herself to others—they so admire her courage and calling to live on her terms. Which is to say nothing of when she does go out of her way to show kindness to others. Unsurprisingly, I can’t help but to chase novelty and adventure in my life. If you were constantly surrounded by her happy-go-lucky aura, I’m sure you’d be infected with the ‘adventure bug’ too.
The Golden Rule was the only religion in our household—really, it’s probably one of the few —isms that I actually buy. From a young age, I learned the import of sensitivity/vulnerability/empathy. As I understand the Golden Rule, it doesn’t ask us to exchange niceties or mince words, rather to go out of our way to show kindness and care for others. It’s a proactive rule and inherent to it is the assumption that one is paying it forward, so to speak. That the unsolicited kindness will be returned to you in some form or another. A simplified, Westernized Karma, I guess. Whatever you want to call it, however you choose to interpret it, my mother lived it. And I won’t forget it… It’s allowed me an entirely new lens through which to view the world.
Pam Hoyt doesn’t just talk the talk, she walks the walk. She’s truly one of a kind and though I might be a tad biased, I happen to think she’s the best mom out there.
